Mental health care vs Cancer care... do we have the balance right?

For those who have met me in my “adult life” in my current home town of Kitchener/Waterloo... you probably have no idea that I lost probably 3 years of my youth to depression and anxiety. I stumbled through my last couple years of high school; missing weeks or months at a time. I can still to this day, despite everything I’ve gone through up until today, say that those were the darkest days of my life.

Many people think that The Big C is the worst possible thing you can face in life. But the thing about Cancer... you have a choice about how you are going to handle it, how you’re going to frame it, how you’re going to manage the things you can control. When you are in the depths of a mood disorder, you have no control over your emotional response or even your cognition around your emotions. You can feel utterly alone regardless how many people are trying to support you.

The other facet of mental health that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough is the toll it takes on those around the “patient”. Mental health disorders can make one behave in ways that are self centered, impulsive or aggressive. I can honestly say I was not good to those around me. (to those of you who were there... know I realize I was an ass).  I ruined friendships and relationships. Had it not been for the determination of my mother and family, things could have turned out very differently for me.

Yet nobody lives in fear of a mood disorder. Why?   I think it’s because our society leads us to believe we can control it.  Or some would say “well cancer kills”... so do mood disorders... look at the suicide rates. Yet the only time we throw mental health resources at people is when they’ve been diagnosed with cancer.  The amount of free care I now have access to for both myself and my family is staggering.  Yet throughout my career in disability management, getting people access to the care they desperately need has always been a huge barrier.  

We need to respect these disorders for the severity of their impact.  They destroy quality of life.  I would choose this stage 4 Cancer diagnosis any day over having to relive the depths of depression and anxiety.  Today I can feel joy and choose to find joy in as many things as possible because I still remember what that darkness and lack of hope felt like.  

While books could be written on this topic... I will end this here.  I have been wanting to share these thoughts for well over a year.  In fact... I've had the bulk of this post in draft for months.  But with it being Bell Let's Talk day... I figured there was no better time.