January - June 2020 - in a nutshell


In a way getting the news in January was a relief.  Every scan came with the anxiety of “will this be THE ONE”; the scan that will mark the beginning of the end?  So once we absorbed the information, I could start to formulate my “game plan”.  Through all my diagnoses and changes in treatment plan, etc… this has always been the most important stage.  The Game Plan.  Once I know what we are doing, and how I need to plan and adjust my life around the plan, I can move forward with life.   Living WITH Cancer is how I chose to move forward. 

When Ian asked me what I wanted to do before I had to start chemo (which we assumed to be early summer), my answer was : “Go to Nashville, New Orleans, and run a half marathon”.

Unfortunately, COVID had other plans for us when it came to travel…  but the half marathon was totally within my control.  So that’s what I did.  Ian begrudgingly decided to run it with me.  I think he couldn’t be one-upped by the cancer patient…  but whatever motivation you need right?!?!  Even when our race was eventually canceled… we moved forward and mapped out our own run.  Knowing my chemo was now imminent, with a now staggering 18 lesions across both lungs (still no symptoms), I ran a 2:08 half marathon on May 2, 2020.  I then had my first chemo treatment May 13, 2020.

 



As it stands right now, I will be having chemo every 2 weeks indefinitely… for as long as it works.  I will apparently get breaks… not sure when those happen yet… but we are still early days.

I realized that going through chemo before, I was afraid to push myself, and basically laid down and died to the side effects for the duration of the treatment.  I decided that this time… that was not going to be my experience… and so far my body has been cooperating. 

By day 8 after my first chemo (I am on 14 day cycles) I was back to running daily and not slowing down.  By my third infusion/chemo treatment, I seemed to have better side effect control and was able to workout on day 5.  I figure the longer I can keep this up, the stronger I will be to weather the chemo side effects. 

I am finally posting this as I leave the chemo suite after chemo treatment #4.  I have my trusty “chemo-to-go”, aka 5FU with me.  I kid you not.  That’s what it’s called.  The kids love the name… but they tend to just call it “mom’s bottle” now.  I have the dog watching me like a hawk now that I’m home.  He seems to know something’s up with me when I get home on day 1… it’s kinda cute.

I will sign off for now… before I start to babble more in my drug induced state.  But I’ll be sure to keep you posted!   

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 25, 2020 at 4:33 PM

    For someone who doesn't like to write - well done!! Also bloody brilliant way to process and use your hours of chemo time. I so resonated with what you wrote about laying down and dying to the chemo side effects, but your ability to take control of what you can and screw the chemo, pushing your body to strength is giving me tears. I'm in awe and I feel hope, encouragement, and so so much admiration.

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