Trials and Tribulations

 I'm actually surprised it's been as long as it has since my last post.  I kept waiting to have something to tell everyone, but I really spent the last 3 months in a state of uncertainty.  As I described in my last post, immunotherapy can cause inflammation of tumors which makes it appear as though they have grown, when in fact they haven't.  So as I progressed through the summer and the scans every 6 weeks, they continued to show small amounts of growth, but still within the parameters of the study.  My doctor kept saying that there was no reason to stop treatment because inflammation could still be playing a role. As you might be able to imagine, that never gave me a great sense of relief or confidence.  That combined with the fact that I was then anticipating the next scan so soon made for an emotionally challenging summer.  

I hadn't had that sense of dread in a long time... but it was always there, in the background, letting itself be known.  The worst was first thing in the morning, waking up, usually after a night of cancer dreams, to have to put that big dark cloud of dread back in its box for the day so that I could try enjoy the summer with my family.  It was exhausting.  

My last set of scans a few weeks ago showed the same growth but this time my doctor felt that it was time to look at other options.  Options being the key word.  She indicated that there were 2 other trials for which I would be a candidate, and they were just trying to sort out which studies might have slots open or how frequently they do open.  Turns out there was nothing open at that moment so the decision was made to stay the course with the current trial for now, given that I am feeling so well.  I'm not losing anything from a wellness perspective by staying on the trial and if it is in fact doing something... that is better than nothing.  Now I wait...

In the meantime I have been feeling really well, as I said earlier.  So good that I actually did finish my goal of 200km run in July.  After that accomplishment, and with significant goading from my sister (luv ya!), I signed up to run a half marathon in September.  Ironically my sister didn't run it with me but volunteered her husband for the task.  It ended up being a great race and a great bonding experience with my brother-in-law.  I tied my personal best time, although this course had way more hills than my previous run at that speed (I didn't want to see another hill or ramp for a while!).

While I was training over the summer, I lost a dear friend to this brutal cancer beast.  She was diagnosed as stage 4 long after I was and I really struggled with our different paths.  Since then, I have lost others that I know through this cancer journey and it really spurred me to want to do more. 

Today, because apparently I'm a masochist, I am preparing for a second half marathon that I will run this coming weekend.  I decided I needed to see if I could beat my time and raise money for cancer research in the process.  I feel like I am able to do this run because of cancer research, so I need to give back and run for those who can't anymore.   

Here is a link to my fundraising page, should you feel moved to donate.  I will try and post a more timely update on how everything went next week.  


https://supportthepmcf.ca/DIY/1385074f918a4902a33e1d864e58f5e3






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