Wow... it's been a while!

 I realized I was overdue for an update but hadn't realized how long it's actually been!

I think the main reason I haven't been online is that everything has been status quo for the most part.  We fine tuned the meds that help with chemo side effects to the point where I am functional almost the whole cycle.  I go to bed early the first few days but there is very little nausea and I'm sleeping better... really it has become my new normal.  I even started describing my cancer as a chronic condition.  I mean I'm not actively dying right now... so I am living with stable cancer.

That being said... I was going to post this in June but then was afraid of jinxing myself.  My doctor let me know that it looked like my tumor markers were starting to trend upwards just as I was coming due for another set of scans.  I had to wait 2 weeks for those scan results which was tough... but the news was good!  No change in findings from last set of scans... disease is still stable. So I have some breathing room before my next scans... likely in late September.  Even once this chemo regime stops working, there are still other options and lines of treatment, but I am managing this one so well, the thought of switching does not appeal.  And in all reality means we are getting closer to the end of treatment options.  But that day is not today and I am grateful. 

During my period of uncertainty around my own condition, I had to say goodbye to a friend who lost her battle with cancer.  She had become a friend and confidante around parenting through cancer treatments.  Those conversations turned to how you help your children prepare for grief and eventually ended with a virtual goodbye over zoom.  I tried to gather myself to visit her in hospice but couldn't bring myself there.  There were added complications due to covid and being at the cottage for most of the time, but I could have gone if I really made an effort.  I just felt like I couldn't walk through those doors.

I am ready to get back to a more normal routine (as I'm sure we all are) and look forward to the kids having a somewhat normal school year.  I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with myself... but I'll figure something out.  I'm hoping more volunteer activities will be available or maybe some home reno around the house.... TBD.

I hope you are all enjoying your summer as much as we are.  I leave you with my favourite meme shared with me.  I don't really feel like a cancer assassin... but I love this none the less.

Health and happiness to you all,


Shannon 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sad few months... and I'm apparently "doing a thing" Again!

Image
I have struggled with writing something here for months. At the end of 2024 I wasn't sure what to write because I was in a period of uncertainty. The clinical trial had been hugely successful, reversing years of growth.  In late 2024 my scans started to show signs of treatment failure. As I said to my oncologist “I’ve seen this film before… and I didn’t like the ending”. There were signs of growth but nothing definitive; nothing that qualified as treatment progression. In November they asked me if I had developed a cough (not something you want your oncologist to ask). Apparently there was a tumour that was growing next to my right bronchus and they were concerned. We decided to try going up in dose to see if it would help and rescan in January.  For some reason this spurred me to do what I said I would never do… sign up for a full marathon 🤦‍♀️. Looking back… I signed up on January 1st (maybe I was still under the influence?)  Soon after, January hit my family like a ru...
Read more

8 years and still kickin’

Image
  It’s been a hard year so far… but I’m still incredibly grateful for it! I realize now as I look back on my last entry that I felt I had so much to update on and it was all so emotionally charged, that all I could do was word vomit it all out as fast as possible.  Walking beside my dad while he had to come to terms with his diagnosis was like reliving my experience again in fast forward. He struggled with a lot of guilt, blaming himself for his diagnosis. He said to us many times how sorry he was. We (my mother and siblings) continued to tell him that he had nothing to be sorry for!  This was not his fault. I was incredulous at how he was feeling…. Until I flipped the roles and realized that I have been harbouring so much guilt for putting my kids through this stress and making them deal with mortality so young.  In my dad’s final days, while he was unresponsive and we were administering morphine through a pump when he’d seem to be uncomfortable or agitated, my hear...
Read more

Living in the light

Image
 Ian has been on my case to update this blog… so here I am. I preface this with… it’s all good news. I’ve just had my third set of CT scans since the end of January… 3 scans each showing continued treatment response (or as I have coined it… shrinkage). I can’t bring myself to read my scan reports but Ian seems to have no problem. It’s a new beast to have them at my fingertips. It’s not something that my native hospital in Kitchener does… “My Chart” is not a thing. I have never been able to see test results at the same time as my doctors. I know that freedom of information is important… but raw information without context can be dangerous in my opinion. When you don’t have the educated interpretation of what this means for you, I feel like it causes undue anxiety and stress. But I digress… because as Ian said… when the report says “this spot went from 13mm to 8mm” that can only mean good things. I am now almost 5 months into this trial and it has reversed almost 4 years of growth. ...
Read more