Another set of good scans!!!

 Hi everyone,


Just a quick update.  Had another routine set of scans come back this week that continue to show either stable disease, or shrinking lesions.  This is the best news we can continue to get... so we're happy!  We have a reprieve from scans now until late January as long as my bloodwork is stable. 

I've been coming around after my struggles with the immune boosting shots.  I haven't been running the past few weeks... more due to the weather and lack of early daylight than anything.  My sister has gotten me hooked on these strength training/HIIT classes online... so I've still been able to workout which continues to make me feel better (even when I don't want to).  I hadn't realized how much strength I'd lost, only running over the summer.  It has been eye opening.  I've gone a month or 2 without significant weight training before but never lost strength like this...  I couldn't even do a full range of motion push-up anymore.  NOT ONE!  So... I'm working to remedy that. 

We had Caitlyn's birthday last week.  She had a great day with outdoor cake with the neighbourhood kids and gifts with grandparents.  We had a really rough birthday-bedtime and next morning though.  At bedtime Caitlyn became really upset and said she didn't want to turn 9 because that will bring her closer to "mommy maybe dying".  Caitlyn seems to understand that death is a possibility, but has yet to confirm she understand it as an eventuality.  We have been clear, but I think she is processing in her own time and within her abilities.  Needless to say.. that was a rough night for us all.  Knowing you are going to leave your kids without a mom brings "Mom-guilt" to a whole new level.

Sean on the other hand seems to have reconnected with his faith in a way I had not been expecting.  Faith certainly isn't something that I have discussed here... but it is a very important if somewhat private part of my life.  Before COVID, Sean had come to us indicating that he didn't believe anymore and was afraid that we would be mad at him.  We told him that his faith was his decision to make, but that we would continue to attend church and pray as a family and he needed to respect those activities, even if he wasn't actively participating.  We never heard about it again until a few weeks ago when he asked for a Bible at bedtime.  This was such a blessing to me to know that he was finding some comfort again in his faith life and seeking out some guidance or comfort from somewhere other than TikTok (however he is also following Christian TikTokers... who knew that was a thing?!?!  Don't worry... we are monitoring... nothing extremist found so far 🙏).

We are looking forward to Christmas with renewed enthusiasm.  Even Sean who never wants to participate in Christmas decorating or baking is expressing interest and excitement in doing those things together.   I think I'll even get a second Christmas tree... we are going to make this Christmas a fun one!!!  Along with Christmas, we are looking to find other things to do with the kids.  When I was first diagnosed, we had started to make plans to travel with the kids while I was still well; having fun and building memories.  Now I am just hoping I can outlast COVID and still make that happen.  In the meantime we are going to try and do as ,much COVID-safe domestic activities as possible.  Our first attempt will be a trip to Tremblant in January.  I don't ski well... so this will be interesting!  But we figured our own condo and outdoor masked activities was our safest bet.  

I will be meeting with my oncologist again in a couple weeks and I'm hoping to negotiate some chemo breaks around Christmas and this trip to make it a bit more enjoyable...  we'll see how that goes.  

I'll be sure to keep you all posted... even if it is sporadic.

Happy November all.

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